Mom, there's a wormhole in my backpack!

At least that's my assumption these days. And it's a waaaaay better excuse for forgetting homework than the lame-o "the dog ate my homework" cliche.

Due to my oldest child's medical diagnosis of ADHD, she has in place a 504 Plan with her elementary school. Among the accomodations listed are for her math homework to be emailed to ME and I will hand her the relevant pages from her workbook which is now kept at home. Said child is getting BETTER about writing down or at least memorizing the math sheet of the day, but we're still working on her planner.

Ideally, she should be writing her assignments in the planner issued to her by the school. But we don't live in a Utopian society. Or even Lake Wobegon, for that matter.

Today's email exchange:

Dear Awesome Teacher:


Gabriella said they didn't have any math yesterday that she remembered. What is the homework for this week?

---

Dear Mrs. Sulu:


She should be writing it in her planner everyday as well. Yesterday Ms. Intern verified that she did, but I did not see her planner today.

---

Dear Awesome Teacher:
 
The planner "disappeared" but then "reappeared" in her backpack. I'm assuming there's some sort of space/time anomaly regarding her backpack. It's really the ONLY plausible explanation since gremlins are right out.

She'll have 125 AND 127 for class tomorrow. Whether or not the wormhole that exists in her backpack will divulge the papers is another story all together.

Live Long & Prosper,


Mrs. Sulu

Here's the thing, if I didn't laugh about this, I'd cry. And really, any excuse to use the phrase "space/time anomaly" does my little GeekMom™ heart good.

They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To

Or a rant on Why I Hate Modern Patterns.

Let me preface this posting by saying that I am NOT a n00b. I'm actually a decent seamstress and would call myself intermediate/advanced. Now that I've established my creds, here goes:

Modern patterns (a veritable snore of the devil) are NOT made with the same attention to detail, quality and general re-usability of patterns a mere 20 years old. Yep. Whoda thunk I was praising the 80s?

Going back further, patterns from the 1970s - especially childrens' patterns - are superb. If not for fashion sensibility, at LEAST for the fact that once a pattern was cut, you could use it again and again. Why? Because the paper was a MUCH better grade of paper. Thicker and easier to refold. Has anyone tried to refold what passes for patterns these days? Trust me, you don't want to try. All you will get is M.A.D. Or be left with little shreds of paper where it refused to cooperate. Or both.

My favorite patterns are those that range from the early 1940s (how I love printed patterns) to the 70s. Why? Because they came in ONE SIZE. Not FIVE. Multi-size patterns are yet another snore of the devil and the bane of my existence <--- which I've spelled three times and figure "e" in the middle looks better. Especially CHILDRENS' multi-size patterns. Help me boab! When you have five sizes ranging from 1/2 (yes ONE HALF) to 4, it's quite obvious that the cutting lines are going to be ridiculously close together. And don't try actually cutting out the notches. So HERE is the offender:

It looks deceptively simple. There's a mere 21 pieces to the pattern. Yes, you read that correctly TWENTY ONE pieces for standard pajamas.

You could scoff and say "just transfer the pattern to paper and THEN cut it out". And I'd tell you BTDT ThankYouVeryMuch. That was just as much a PITA as doing it the "normal" way. So now, I'm back to the cutting table to finish New Year's Resolution 7.128: DO SOMETHING ABOUT ALL THAT FABRIC THAT IS SITTING IDLE IN YOUR STASH. AKA: Just make the darn outfits before your kids outgrow them.